A forgotten friendship...impossible

"A true friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget..."

This is a bit of a sad post. When a friendship suddenly turns into a relationship that last six years in total, I could have only hoped that at least the friendship will continue - but i guess it won't...

My one true friend has totally changed. I have not seen him since December last year. Not that we can't, he just won't. Even talking to him telephonically is a problem. I usually ask "Do you have a minute to chat" and the usual reply is yes but the moment I ask e.g. "how are things?" then suddenly "he's got to go" or "busy with a crisis" or "i have a colleague with me and I can't talk".

I still love him and always will. He was my first true love and yes I will always have that special place in my heart for him. How can he now claim (approx four months later) that he no longer loves me and that he loves the new rebound in his life? They got together only two months after we broke up but I found out the hard way that actually they'd been hanging together while we were still in a relationship.

I am not jealous about them, nor angry at the loss of him just angry at the loss of our special friendship. Through all the abovementioned shit I still felt he was my best friend. I still waited patiently for him to one day contact me and ask to hang out. I still talk of him with respect, honor and i am proud that I even got a chance to be a part of his life.

I knew that in the back of my mind, he told me that he will always have a special place in his life for me, he will always be there for me when i need advice, he will be there for me in my time of need.

This lie was exposed today...

I wrote to him saying I needed his advice and honestly these were my words:

"As a friend that I normally used to talk to, I feel like I want to ask your advice.
I'm totally confused and depressed and in need of some guidance.
I think I already made up my mind but just for confirmation from someone I trust please.
If you ok with this , I will explain."

this was his reply:

"No offense, but I don't think I know you. How do you know me? Just
asking, have gotten emails intended for others before."

This is way in which I intend ending this post because I have that "You cannot say you've lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed."
and that is not what I would have hoped to be happening...

If he trully had the intention, to :
1) firstly break up with me telephonically, then
2) refuse to see me,
3) refuse to send my christmas gift to me (even though I went through the effort of couriering his),
4) refuse to answer my calls at times,
5) refuse to ever have been in a relatioship with me,
6) delete all pictures of me from his Facebook profile,
7) delete all pictures of me from his Flickr profile
8) delete all my wall posts sent to him on Facebook,
9) delete me as a friend on Facebook and never add me again,
10) claim that he has no love for me
11) be nasty to me and give me crap answers like this when all i asked for was some advice....

then really...he is not the friend that I thought he was and he is not the person that I knew and fell in love with...he also not the person I wish to ever be accociated with and sadly, he is not the person I wish to call my friend...

It goes CRRRRcccccttt , in your _ _ _ _ _

Today I was wearing my blue jeans that I somehow claimed from my niece a few years ago. She happens to be a tad bit shorter than me; but the jeans were a perfect fit otherwise. So being the self conscience person that I have turned myself into, I would habitually keep pulling down the pipes of the jeans so that it will not be all that high ...

At approximately 12:42 I was on my way to my already late lunch desperately trying to still be able to make it in time for Xhosa lessons at 1pm. So the multitasking person that i am, yogi sip in the left hand, keys in the right busy and locking my office door when I tugged on the jean pipes to kinda straighten up my clothing (only yes I know that you tug downwards).

....... I heard a CRRRRcccccttt....
The jeans ripped! It ripped a nice horizontal line approx at the point where the length of a hotpants would stop. So for those who didn’t quite get the story, NO! I did not bend and then a rip appeared at the behind; this rip was horizontal (a line like this --------- ) on my left leg, in the front noggals.

I burst out laughing on my way to the first aid kit (note the quick thinking involved here) and start looking for the sticky bandage stuff. At some point I have E the building supervisor hovering over my shoulder trying to see what I’m up to. When he figured it out he suggested I use this tape that seemed thinner than the rest and so I opted for that and grabbed the scissors and headed towards the toilet.

Now, the toilet is not exactly “a few steps away”, neither is it “just around the corner”...picture this. The length of the building could be 100m and my office is way on the right whereas the toilets are all way on the left. I know. Yes I had to mission pass the students (sulk).

Yes the tape didn’t stick to my jeans after making an 'X marks the spot' on the inside of my jeans to keep the rip in tact for the rest of the day. Sigh. Back to the first aid box cursing E and grabbed the very sticky 'sticky bandage', trekked off to the toilet again and fixed up the rip.

So finally i get to have my yogi sip while chatting to some colleagues outside when I realised that its 13:07 and Xhosa lessons have already started. SHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

So that was my very hectic active day (well part of it).
Suddenly I’m cracking myself up with this ‘AnaJoke’ I just thought up which puts this story into perspective "I let one rip" Hahaha